Secrets Of Shadows
by silversrider
Summary: Warning: very sadistic. "A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked you yet." He was always trying to protect them, saving them from their enemies. But it drove him into insanity.
1. Chapter 1: The Shadow Is Appearing

**_WARNING: _**_This is a very sadistic story. There will be a large amount of blood in it. It can be mind-fucking. Major character death and some horror themes._

_I am not a penguinhater. No. I actually like them, love them. But sometimes you get those weird ideas and you write it down. That's what I did. I got an idea and wrote it down.  
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_It's rated M for a reason.  
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_So here we go:  
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**Chapter 1: The Shadow Is Appearing**

"_A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked you yet"_

My mind returned when I washed the blood from my flippers.

Their blood.

My flippers.

The penguin looking at me in the mirror is one I have never seen before. Yet he is so knowable, as if he was a part of me for a long time. His large dark eyes stared right through me. And although Kowalski would have said that it was impossible, I knew that I've lost my soul.

Done.

What have I done?

I turn around, I see their eyes. They are looking at me from every side of the room, following every move I make. Almost like they had done when they were alive. Almost.

Why?

Why had he done it?

That has to be the question those eyes were silently begging me to answer. But deep down inside, I knew that it was a question without an answer. Nobody should ever know why. It just happened. I never thought that my own flippers could cause so much pain, without even thinking about doing a special move.

I laugh.

I can see their ghost coming towards me, trying to scare me. I laugh even harder. They can't harm me, I killed them with my own bear slippers. I can take them down without any hesitation. Even if they were ghosts.

My maniacal laughter fills the whole underground HQ. It may be heard through the whole zoo. I smile by the thought of them finding the body's. What a joy will it be to see them scream in horror.

MURDER!

Yes. I am a murderer. And I have murdered my own team. No. It's even better. I have killed my best friends. I liked it. Their blood. Their screams. I smile again when I remember their stunned faces. They would have never guessed that I really was one of their biggest foes.

Rico.

I saw his body laying on the ground before me. I can see the whole happening playing itself again and again before my own eyes. I like it. It would make a great movie. I would totally go to see it.

"Boys. I have a surprise for you!" I scream into the HQ. They waddle towards me, happy, an awaiting look on their faces. "What kind of surprise Skippah?" I smile after hearing Private's words.

Surprise.

What a genius way of putting it. I'm proud of myself. Now I am going to prove for once and for all what a penguin really can do with his flippers. I pull Rico against my chest. My smile widened.

The first scream.

It was a pleasure to hear. Rico tried to escape, but I'm too fast for him. The feathers are flying round the HQ. The screams of the bird beneath me are as music to my ears. My grin widened as I start to suffocate him with my flippers pushed on his neck.

It's going too fast for my likings. I release my flippers from Rico's neck and look up to the two other penguins in front of me. "Want to see more?" They back away, screaming, like young schoolgirls. And in Private's case, even crying.

I turn my attention back to Rico. Lying on the ground, gasping for air. I take my advantage. My flippers hit him hard in his belly. Again and again and once more. I feel his skin breaking under my rapidly repetitive beats. There is the blood. Streaming over his belly. The penguin hasn't blacked out yet. I like it better this way. When they are conscious you can play with them even more. You just have to make sure that they stay alive.

My flippers never stop punching the penguin in front of me. I feel the ribs breaking with every hit I gave to them. How many ribs does a penguin have?

Crunch.

That was no rib, that was his sternum. Maybe I have punctured his longs by now. Rico had difficulty to breathing. I tear open the wound I made before. His watery eyes are looking at me, begging for mercy.

There's no turning back now.

With my bare flippers I open up his wound, showing his bloody organs, still pumping in his body. He's still conscious, still looking at me. It was a bit disappointing that he didn't yell anymore. The HQ is completely silence when Kowalski and Private are watching me tearing up their, no that's not right. OUR friend.

Watch.

Just watch boys.

I played some time with Rico. He just laid there, helplessly. I could see his life fading from his eyes. I pulled out a knife, pushed it right into his heart. Turned it around and around, the feeling of getting deeper and deeper into the penguin got to me. I quite enjoyed it, but my toy is dying and without the screaming and fighting it is just not as fun.

Shadows.

They are all around us.

Some belong to yourself, some to others. You can't flee from shadows, you can't hide from them. One day they will get to you. They will drive you mad. They will follow you, everywhere. Even in the dark, when you can't see them. They are still there. Maybe they are not only appearing with the help of lights. What if they are really appearing because of the darkness, the darkness that will follow you through life and eventually swallow your soul?

Shadows.

Secrets.

Secrets in the shadows.

Shadows in the Secrets.

When they are coming together, it's enough to drive you mad.

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_You may flame (or not) now, but please, mind your language._


	2. Chapter 2: The Fast One

_Here's chapter 2!_

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**Chapter 2: The Fast One**

My tears dried while I forgot the memories.

Their memories.

My tears.

But although I just committed the greatest crime imaginable, I don't feel any regret. It was a pleasure to destroy them. I would do it again if I got the change. A devious smile appears on my face when I think about my second masterpiece.

Kowalski.

While Rico's body was bleeding out, I made my way to the second in command. His flippers trembled while mine started to get in the battle position. How lovely this is going to be!

He says his first none-screaming words. It will be his last either.

Words.

They can make and break things. One word can start a war, break a man's heart. They can make you fall in love, or let your life fall apart. Words. There are so many of them. Different languages. Different meanings. No word means exactly the same as the other one.

Emotions.

Words contain emotions. I look at the tall penguin. He never understood emotions. He never cared for anything more than his inventions. Science. Science should have told him what was about to happen. His brain should know the answers to my questions. He should feel it in his gut.

Feelings.

Did I ever had any? I give him a hard punch in the stomach. He bends down, looking at me. "What happened?" He gasps for breath. My smile widened. With little effort, I throw him in the air, against the ceiling. I always told them that it was my task to be physical superior all the time. I always held my word, but never showed them my real force. I saw a stream of blood coming from Kowalski's head.

Too fast.

It was going too fast. Kowalski has to feel the same pain I had to endure for them. I only had to made sure that they wouldn't survive it. It was like showing mercy to them. Putting an end to their misery called their life. Our life. I am their angel, their savior. I made my way to the penguin who was laying panting on the floor.

I punch him right in the eye. "WHY, WHY Skipper?!" I don't, no, I won't reply. I punch him even harder. My flippers are punching in a certain rhythm on his face. The feathers are becoming red from his blood, while his eyes widens. Every time my flipper touches his body, I feel my contact with reality dripping away.

Contact.

I am losing it. What's real and not? What have I done? I'm out of control of my own life, my own body. I try to gather my breath, my strength. It's too late. I pick up the knife beside me. How did it get there? I watch my left side and I see Private laying on the ground. A feeling of guilt overwhelms over my body. But how harder I try, how more and more I feel myself drowning in the darkness.

Who am I?

What am I doing?

I stare down at the body of my lieutenant. The dark power controls me. I've become the devil, a demon. He died fast. He wasn't strong. Not as strong as Rico. My devilish smile returns as I turn towards my youngest soldier. He was sneaking behind my back, trying to save his friends, trying to take me down. "You're too late Private." He backs away by the sight of my smile. "Skipper, what did we do wrong? What did I do wrong? Why do we deserve this?"

I pull him up by his feet. I gather my strength and throw him across the HQ. His body laid motionless against the wall. I thought that he would be stronger, I hoped that the fight would last longer. Oh well, why should I care? The walls enclose me, They appear in my sight. I try to fight them, their imagined blood on my flippers, their heads rolling over the ground. But none of them actually died, or got away. Their flippers tighten around my neck. The memories of the past engulf me.

You can't fight your own mind. You can't win the battle you are fighting with yourself. Although the tears on your face will dry, the wounds in your soul will remain open, they will bleed until you're dead, until your soul has died away, until you've lost your mind.

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_I hope that you like this story so far. :)_


	3. Chapter 3: Screams From The Inside

**Chapter 3: Screams From The Inside**

My feet feel numb when I walk past their body's.

I feel.

They do not. Not anymore.

I watch my last victim regaining consciousness. I give him a smile, it was supposed to comfort him. It should have told him that I was going to take away his pain, but first I will make him suffer worse than he could ever imagine.

Private.

He was the one who always told us to be good, to be nice. To give people a second chance.

Second.

Chance.

To.

Change.

Would he give me one? Do I deserve one? Would I do the same again? Yes. Yes I would. So that would mean that I don't need one. Even better. Private looked at me with wide eyes, fear written all over his face. I pick him up by his chest feathers and throw him to the ground, very cautiously, so that I would be sure that my toy would stay with me this time.

I jump upon his belly and hear him scream in pain. It's almost like an opera to me. I place myself right behind me and pick up his flipper. The penguin doesn't even defend himself. Stupid. I bend his flipper in ways normal flippers can't go. I reach the point where his bones come through his feathers, his blood streaming over my flippers too.

Funny.

It's very funny how you can train 3 penguins. Learn them almost everything you know, learning them to defend themselves. It's funny how they just lay there, motionless, waiting for their fate. It's funny and stupid at the same time. That's why I had to be the leader. Those three needed me. I was the only reason that they stayed alive.

I grab a hand full of feathers and pull them out. I smile at the sight of blood pouring out of the newly created holes. Small streams of dark red blood dirty his snow-white and properly groomed feathers. He gasps when I move on to his other flipper. I gave it almost the same treatment as the first one, only I made sure to dislocate it first. My toy is fading away before my eyes.

I pick him up by both his hurt, bleeding flippers and swing him around. I let him go and he flies through the HQ once more. He became too weak to scream.

Scream.

Something was screaming inside of me. Trying to stop me. But I ignore it. How can I possibly give up this fun game? I look into Private's eyes, filled with tears, fear, pain and disbelief. They scream for help but his beak is kept shut.

I gather all my strength and punch him right into his left eye. His other eye widened in shock. But I soon punch him even harder into his right eye. He's unable to see me now, making it a surprise for him which part of his body is next to be attacked.

Attacks.

How many have I already endured for them? Because of their stupid mistakes? I don't even begin to count the times, but move on with destroying the penguin in front of me.

"You may break my body, but you'll never break my soul."

So the little penguin is becoming heroic? I laugh loudly. "Think again, Private! I already broke your soul!" I turn the little penguin on his back. I softly touch him, trying to give him a misplaced feeling of comfort before raping him apart.

STOP.

The voice inside of me grows louder and louder. Why now? I take a step back from the little penguin who is laying shivering on the ground. I watch my own flippers. Blood. Theirs, not mine. Too late, I hear Private give a last moan, see him taking his last breath. Maybe I was a bit over excited by the throwing to the wall part. Who knows?

Knowledge.

He was always the one who knew the most. Kowalski…

Weapons.

He was always ready to rush himself blindly into danger. Rico…

Friendship.

He was always the one who bind them, kept them together. Private…

I.

I was their leader, I told them what to do. I was the one who had to keep them save, protect them. I can't believe what I've done. Why did I do it in the first place? This is not right.  
Darkness evolves in my mind, I am not myself. Help… Help me… Private. Rico. Kowalski. Help!

I lean against the wall and look at the bodies of what once were my friends, my team.

Wrong.

Something is horribly wrong. But what?

Reality.

The reality of shadows. They are behind me, in front of me, everywhere. You can't find a shadow. You can't fight the reality. You can't fight the dead. You can't fight against your own mind. Life is a losing battle, leaving everything what once was in a complete shadow.

Shadows, they are everywhere, I see it now. No one is ever safe from them. They will grow and grow into a new reality.

The reality of shadows.

A reality full of secrets.


	4. Chapter 4: Lights

_Final chapter is here! :)  
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_Please enjoy!_**  
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**Chapter 4: Lights**

My mind returned when I washed the blood from my flippers.

Only, my flippers aren't stained with blood.

Let alone their blood.

I watch my surroundings.

White.

Everywhere, everything is white. What's happening? Where am I? A bed, nothing more is in the room. My flippers are tied together, I can't move them. What happened?

But still, I feel that there's something wrong. Like how it would feel if I lost contact with reality. The door opens. Three penguins are standing right in front of me. They look afraid, but also sad. As if a loved one is about to die. A stone drops in my stomach. They walk in the chamber, the door closes behind them. Private hides behind Kowalski.

What have I done?

Kowalski clears his throat before speaking. "Hello, Skipper." He walks towards me and untie my flippers, before quickly returning to Rico and Private. I can't find the right words, what can I say to them, when I don't even know why I am here, what I am, what I have done. I just can't find the words.

Awkward.

Weird.

Weren't that the words Kowalski would say? Why does he remain silent now? Why is Private hiding behind his back? Why does Rico seem normal?

"What, what happened?" I say, trembling. My voice, it doesn't sound the way I remembered how it would have sounded. What happened to my life?

Kowalski just stood there, watching every move I make suspiciously. I haven't done… Haven't done anything bad to them? Right?

Right.

Opposite of wrong. Still, right doesn't mean not wrong. There's so much more between right and wrong, true or false. What about being neutral? Is that right? Or is that wrong too?

Private slowly moves towards me, apparently very afraid by the sight of me. What have I done? What did I do to scare my three best friends like this? "Skippah…" His voice sounded hoarse, as if he had screamed the whole night. As if he tried to scream his pain away. He stretches his flipper towards me. I slowly touch it.

We both scream, both fall back. Memories overflow my mind.

Killing.

Blood.

Laughing.

More killing.

More blood.

More laughing.

What have I done?

What.

Have.

I.

Done?

The little penguin stares into my blue eyes. "Skippah, don't you remembah? Skippah?" He speaks to me as if he's trying to talk to a mentally ill person. I am not mentally ill, am I?

He grabs my flipper once more and the other two penguins move towards me. We sit together.

As long as we're together, we're alive. As long as we're apart, we're dying. I couldn't hurt them. Not as long as I am in my right mind.

"Kowalski, analysis." The longer penguin nods and starts talking. It is one of the best sounds I've ever heard. It's like he is reading me a bedtime story. If only the story wasn't about me. Me trying to destroy my friends.

"Sir, Skipper, it seemed like you've had a psychosis. You suffered from extreme hallucinations. You almost killed us, at least you were trying to." Kowalski doesn't dare to look into my eyes. Hurt. That is how I am feeling right now. How could I've possibly tried to kill my team? How could I've possibly tried to kill my only friends? My protectors? My angels? They were the one light in my life.

Light.

Sometimes you only need light to see things clearly. Only light, a bright light can make the shadows disappear. But at the same time, a light makes several shadows more. Shadows with a past, shadows with a secret. The only way to fight these shadows is with the light in your soul, the light that shows you the path to the future.

The light that fights the shadows

The light that fights the secrets.

And what's a secret, without a shadow?

What's a shadow, without a secret?

Wouldn't that just be… Light?

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_Thank you for reading, for reviewing (and not flaming :))_

_I don't know if it all is like how a real psychosis would work, it's just how I imagined one._


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